Night.

My last big crisis was last autumn, when I woke up in the night and found myself hallucinating.  I dream so vividly every night that at first it was difficult to know whether I was actually awake. But I was.  I was aware that my vision was wrong. Colour had drained out, as had subtle edges to all objects. Everything was in heavy relief, an almost negative effect. I heard strange sounds too. I convinced myself it was a stroke and woke my partner who talked me down and out of the event. Despite discussing it with doctors and therapists I have never received a satisfactory explanation for what happened. At any rate it set me on a new path, pushing me into dealing with my demons and taking care of myself properly so Ichoose to see it as a serendipitous occurrence.  Still, when I wake in the night I am apprehensive. I open my eyes slowly and hope for normality.

~ by pippa71 on April 11, 2007.